oheaj:

His mind was working at the speed of light, filtering through the zillions of possibilities as to how frogs and toads and their relatives would stack up in the hierarchy.  Strangely, the newfound concept mattered a lot to him despite knowing very well such a thing most likely did not exist. “Maybe the boar’s the pope,” he mused lightly to himself. Of course, adding the boar just complicated things and he sighed out, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“You can’t die though! Not until you explain the whole frog and toad hierarchy thing to me!” Jaeho resisted the urge to give the other a shake of the shoulders, as if shaking violently would decrease the risk of collapsing. “You gotta breathe, man. In and out. Pretend you’re giving birth, but without the screaming and stuff.” His advice wasn’t exactly the best, but it made the slightest lick of sense to him. “If you don’t breathe, you’ll definitely collapse and the world will never know who the pope is.”

He nodded thoughtfully, because all these things were true. Except, maybe not the part about giving birth. He’d never done it before, and so he’d never actually given it thought. He thought a bit subjectively that he could master the art of giving birth within a week’s time, if given the proper amount of information. Guidance was key in a situation like that, and guidance meant internet in any and all contexts;

“You might have to go on without me. Climb the mountain and become a king, all of that. I’m sure you can make it, now that I’ve just given you my blessing. Or you could carry my body up the mountain with you. It’s personal preference. I won’t take offence if you don’t.” He waves a flippant hand, train of thought then rounding back to the frog/hog boogie. He considers his next words, because there would be weight in them, “The pope could be anyone. That’s the thing, the pope is really smart, and probably knows how to do crazy stuff like that. It honestly makes me want to stay at home, because everyone could be deceiving you.”